


Filling The Void

by orphan_account



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, M/M, Tickling, Trans Male Character, unconditional support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 04:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14252616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Just a cute fluff piece about Ryuji helping Akira realise that his friends are there for him, and that the emptiness he feels (which I'm pretty sure is canon going by the lyrics song that plays, Beneath The Mask) can be filled up if he lets them in.





	Filling The Void

**Author's Note:**

> For Starrytickles. I hope you enjoy it!

Ryuji wasn't really sure what was wrong. He’d known Aki for months now, and he was just beginning to see that underneath his best friend’s cool and collected exterior something was off somehow. His smiles were rare, and they reached his eyes at least when they appeared, but they slipped right back off so fast, sometimes it felt like you'd imagined they were there at all, save for how blinding they were. He seemed like he just wasn't always  _ there _ , no matter how good his grades were, the traitor, and in spite of everything, and how often he was there for his friends, he didn't seem to need anyone the way they all needed him. Ryuji found himself wondering more and more if that was the case, and, being who he was, he decided one day to just ask him.

 

“Hey man, can we talk?” 

 

It was one of those rainy days, dark, dreary, and absolutely gorgeous. Some people at school would think that a rainy Sunday was a bad thing with how it was their only real day off, but Aki absolutely loved them. The pitter-patter on the windows really helped him to focus whenever he wanted to make tools, or read, or study, or whatever task he decided to occupy himself with. Anything was better than doing nothing, after all. 

 

“Sure, is everything alright?” The concern in his voice was touching, really. Ryuji sat down on his bed, and adjusted the phone slightly. 

 

“Yeah, I was just wanting to talk to you for a while. I've...well, it'd probably be easier to talk in person, are you free today?”

 

Aki frowned without even realising. Was his friend ok? Was he struggling with something? Was it maybe girl trouble? Was it...boy trouble? He almost hoped for that last one, but he didn't want to be selfish.

 

“Yeah, I haven't got anything planned, and Sojiro actually closed the cafe today for some business or another, so why not come on over?” He wasn't sure why he would run off whenever he got a call, but he didn't think he’d mind his charge entertaining a guest.

 

Ryuji agreed to spend the day with him, and arrived about a half hour later, the black and white umbrella Aki had given him as a gift after watching him get soaked once too many times in his hands. Aki let him in quickly, and Ryuji sighed as he stepped inside the warm cafe, the smell of coffee and curry still lingering in the air around them both.

 

“Hey man.” Ryuji greeted him warmly, a bright grin on his face as he removed his coat. Aki’s lips twitched up as he nodded shyly. Morgana peeked his head down the stairs, and waved his paw in greeting. 

 

“You guys wanna talk? I'll head out for a while then. See you tonight, Aki.” And with that, they were alone. 

 

“We can go up to my room. You want a drink?” Aki asked, his voice quiet as ever. It was weird how, no matter how quietly he spoke, you could always hear him, clear as day, cutting through any noise. He was already moving behind the counter to check the cupboards.

 

Ryuji moved forward with him, and leaned against the counter. “Sure, can I get some lemonade? This rain makes me thirsty as hell.”

 

A minute later, and drinks in hand they were sat upstairs, Aki enquiring about the journey, and opening his window. The rain was getting heavier, and it set his soul at ease, even as he sat on his bed and asked Ryuji, “So, is everything alright? What is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

 

Ryuji, in the chair opposite the bed, watched Aki’s face assume a serious look, his eyes searching the blond’s face for any hint of his troubles. He realised, then, that he wasn't sure how to actually  _ say _ what was on his mind. He put his hand on the back of his neck and asked, somewhat awkwardly, “Well, uh, everything is alright with me. I've honestly just been wondering more about you, man.” 

 

He wasn't expecting Aki’s eyes to widen, and for him to lean back the slightest. Had he said something wrong? “I-I mean, I've just been a little worried you know? I know you've been picking up after the team for a little while now and, you've been super nice and listening to all of my problems,” he stammered quickly, his hands up as if to placate the other, “But I've realised that I haven't really been asking if, well, if everything is alright with you!” 

 

Aki had visibly relaxed. Instead, confusion was evident in his eyes. “You're worried about me?” 

 

Ryuji dearly hoped that he hadn’t looked too deeply into this, but… “Well yeah, I mean, you're my buddy. You're always pushing yourself and looking after us, you deserve the same kind of care in return, ya know? And honestly…” he hesitated.

 

Here, Aki looked curious. “What is it?” 

 

Ryuji shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “Well, you just don't seem all that… I don’t know, happy? I mean, you seem alright sometimes but then it's like...it’s like you're not even there, you know? You stare off into the distance and look like you're carrying the whole world on your shoulders. I'm just here to share the weight a little I guess, if you want to talk.” As he spoke, Aki had seemed to have trouble looking him in the eyes. And when he finally looked directly at him, there was a trace of something Ryuji wasn't familiar with from the other boy: hesitation. 

 

Aki played with the glass of water in his hands, and looked down. “I…” he hesitated audibly this time.

 

Ryuji realised rapidly that he might be overstepping his bounds here, and backpeddled, saying “I mean, well, you don't have to now or anything I was just-”

 

“It’s alright, Ryuji.” He cut in, his voice smooth and quiet as ever. For once though, he didn't sound so sure of himself. He continued to fiddle with the glass, but now looked directly at his friend. “I...listen, I can't say you're completely wrong. I haven't really got anything to hide either, I just don't know what to tell you.” It was the longest Ryuji had ever heard him speak. 

 

Ryuji sat his drink on the desk and rested his head on his hands, elbows on his knees as he bent forward. “What do you mean, buddy? You're really not happy then?” Ryuji sounded so worried and sad about that, that Aki regretted saying anything. 

 

He looked away, and said “You don’t have to be worried about me, I might not be the happiest, but it isn't really much of a surprise, is it? It's been a few months, and I've made some really great friends, especially you, but…” And suddenly, he looked unexpectedly vulnerable, and beneath the mask he always wore...almost anguished. “I’m so  _ tired _ . I'm in an unfamiliar place, with a guardian who makes it sound like he really doesn't like me, and apart from you guys, everyone at the school treats me like I'm a criminal.” He had just broken his record for the second time in 5 minutes for longest time Ryuji had heard him speak, and this time, Ryuji felt awful for him. He really did sound like he was exhausted, like speaking about it had confirmed that it was reality. 

 

“Man...I had no idea you felt like this...you always seem so, so cool, like nothing ever bothers you. You didn't even look like you were bothered when we were facing down Kamoshida, you know?” Ryuji finally stood up, and went over to the other boy, sitting down and putting his hand on his shoulder. “Talking about this stuff...it helps, you know? You showed me enough of that. You might be the leader of the Phantom Thieves, but you still gotta lean on us lackeys from time to time.” He smiled teasingly, squeezing Aki’s shoulder gently.

 

The other boy let out a short little chuckle, and it weighted the air with just how  _ sad _ it sounded. Ryuji hated how it seemed to almost suffocate Aki. “Trust me, I already lean on you more than you think. I…” And again he hesitated, before letting another wall crumble. “I only really feel alive when we’re all fighting together or when we’re doing something to distract ourselves. When I'm here, I'm reminded that this cafe is my prison, even if it's comfortable. Here...I feel so empty. I always feel so empty.” These words were delivered with something that sounded like anger, an emotion which seemed almost foreign on his voice. The hints of frustration, of pain, and sorrow, everything he felt about his situation at once were there too.

 

“And now you know.” He finished. He still had that vulnerable look on his face, and for the first time since starting to talk about it, his eyes flicked to Ryuji, tinged with, worry maybe? Had he said too much? 

 

What he didn't expect to see was Ryuji opening his arms, and looking at him with some kind of strange mix of sadness, warmth, and determination. “C’mere man. Something tells me you need this.” 

 

And, with a sob that took him by surprise, he found he did, in fact, really need a hug. When had he even started to cry? The strength of Ryuji’s arms around him, and the weight of the world on his shoulders, finally shook the tears free, ones that had needed to fall for months, and fall they did at last, embarrassingly into Ryuji’s hoodie. He choked out a laugh, and said into Ryuji’s neck, “I gave you that umbrella so you would stay dry and here I am getting your hoodie all wet.” Ryuji laughed, and held on to him for a bit longer, before Aki decided to let go. 

 

He took off his glasses, and dried his eyes. 

 

“Thanks...I haven't hugged anyone in a long time. I missed it.” He said, a new warmth in his voice.

 

Ryuji smiled brightly, and looked ever so slightly embarrassed. “You ever need a hug, just ask. Just not in front of everyone if you can avoid it, I have a reputation to maintain, dude.” He didn't move away from Aki, though, and they sat quietly together for a moment, their legs still touching. The contact and the affection was...almost overwhelming. 

 

“I don't feel as empty right now.” He said very quietly. “I never do, when I'm with you guys.”

 

Hell if he kept this up,  _ Ryuji _ was gonna cry. “C’mon man,” he laughed, “I don't wanna bring out the waterworks. Just…” and here he put his hand on Aki’s shoulder again, his voice softening, “let us help fill up some of that emptiness for you. We want to be there for you, you know?” 

 

Aki looked so happy that Ryuji’s breath nearly caught, his smile soft and real and beautiful, and although he didn't know why, Aki’s smile made his stomach flutter. He quickly grabbed his drink from the desk beside him, and gulped down a lot of the fizzy liquid, but since he must be a godsdamned  _ idiot _ , he choked and the fizz was in his nose and  _ oh geez _ -

 

Aki was laughing at him! And given what he’d just told him, Ryuji couldn't find it in himself to be mad for giving him a source of joy. He watched him fall back, his hands on his stomach as he leaned his back on the wall for support, and his laugh, sweet and quiet, made Ryuji flush, the flutters in his stomach getting slightly stronger, and he still had no idea why. 

 

\-----------------------------

 

“Oh, you think t-that's funny, huh?” He stammered out, and before he could even think about what he was doing, he was beside him again, fingers already wiggling into his sides, desperately trying to cover the sudden surge of something he’d never felt before. “I’ll give you something to laugh about!”

 

At least the result wasn't disappointing. Aki’s laughter kicked up in volume, and he yelped in surprise, his hands immediately grabbing Ryuji’s wrists, his reflexes perfect, but interestingly, doing nothing to  _ stop _ him. Instead he closed his eyes and let him do it, laughing loudly and ughhhh why was his voice so nice!? He slipped to the side, and now, laying on the bed, his black hair all messy, his cheeks slightly pink, his shirt raised just the slightest with little laughs still spilling from him despite Ryuji having stopped, Ryuji realised that he was learning something about himself this Sunday, and that the reason was lying right in front of him.

 

He might have stopped right there in embarrassment if Aki hadn’t opened his mouth. “Is that all you got?” And ohhh no, he did  _ not _ get to sound all cool and smooth as Ryuji had a non-so-straight revelation right in front of him, and  _ especially _ not after said boy had tickled him half to death.

 

So Ryuji jumped down the rabbit hole.

 

He zipped over, sitting directly beside his torso, and grabbed his sides again, this time skating up and down his ribs and over the other boy’s stomach, and the absolutely joyous sounding peals of laughter that erupted from him brought a smile so wide it hurt to Ryuji’s face. “Oh, so you didn't get enough huh? Something tells me it's time for Joker to get a little taste of his own medicine, what do you think?” He stopped for just a second, and made it clear that he was asking silently, “ _ Is this ok? Am I good to keep going?” _

 

He needn't have worried. Aki’s answering smile was soft and devilish as he spoke. “Do your worst, Skull.” And he guided his hands back to his sides. 

 

Needing no more invitation, Ryuji let loose. His hands skittered over his leader’s stomach like he was desperate to hear the frankly unfairly cute giggles the boy was producing, his breaths hitched and light as air. He kept going  alternating between his sides and his tummy, watching him twitch this way or that, trying to escape but obviously not trying at all, kicking his feet, and Ryuji had the idea to try there too. He slipped his hands under Aki’s legs, and scratched at the hollows of his knees, prodding his hips gently where the shirt had ridden up, and he relished the musical sound of his carefree laughter.  

 

“Surely you can do better thahahahn this Ryuji!” He somehow managed to get out his challenge, sounding so delighted. Ryuji automatically pinned his hands above his head, and moved to secure his arms beneath his knees. 

 

“Now you've done it you big lummox, I'm bringing out the big guns!” Aki wondered if he noticed how happy he sounded, before he lost the capacity to wonder anything at all suddenly, Ryuji digging into his underarms with both hands.

 

Ryuji didn't care what anyone said, he did  _ not _ start giggling at the squeal that came from Aki’s mouth, and he didn't feel literal love at the uncontrollable laughter that shook them both with their intensity, most certainly not. Instead, he kept up the pressure, until his friend was thrashing, at which point he skirted his hands up and down from hips to hollows under the arms, sticking to the side so he didn't brush over Aki’s chest, made sure very carefully not to mess up the binder when he twitched over it at the sides, and giving special attention to the portion of his stomach that was currently uncovered from all the moving around. It wasn't until the tears were leaking from his eyes, that he let up, stopping right after the darker haired boy coughed from laughing so hard.

 

He stood off of him, and slid off the bed to sit at his head, waiting for him to recover from the most brutal tickling he’d ever received. Aki lay there, hands above his head still, his breathing heavy, and face practically glowing for the first time since Ryuji saw him wield his persona for the first time. His cheeks were red and his pupils blown wide.

 

“Are you alright?” Ryuji asked him, smiling giddily. “Aki leaned on him as he got up for support, and huffed the last of his laughter out, his adorable smile never wavering. Ryuji handed him his water.

 

“Thanks. I haven't felt better than this in a while.” There was no trace of the earlier bitterness in his words now, Ryuji having worked it out of him at least for the day. He chugged his water down, and sighed deeply, the tiredness this time from only exertion and contentment. “Do you want to watch a movie with me? I got one from the DVD rental store yesterday, and we have plenty of time to kill.” 

 

“Yeah, sounds good! Want me to run to the grocery store for some snacks?” He was already getting himself ready to go, standing and stretching. Aki prodded him in the side as he did so and he let out a little “Eep!” His hands flying down to protect himself. Aki chuckled gently, his own hands up as a gesture of peace. 

 

“Just curious. Ryuji...thanks for coming over today. And for asking.” The genuine gratitude brought the flutters back to Ryuji’s stomach again, but he just shook his head.

 

“Don’t worry about it man.” With that he grabbed his coat and the umbrella he loved from the downstairs and stepped out into the rain. As he left Aki listening at the window with his eyes closed, into the rain his friend loved so much, both of them couldn't help but be happy. 

 

Ryuji was really glad he’d made that call.


End file.
